Gay dating profil

19 [M4M][Discord][Kik] Finally giving my gay best friend the chance.

2020.10.31 01:32 WoomyX1000 19 [M4M][Discord][Kik] Finally giving my gay best friend the chance.

(Hey there! I’m Veemo and I’m 19, I only want characters and partners who are 18 or older. Smut isn’t the most important to me for this role play, but when it comes time I’m a bottom.)
~The prompt~
You and I had been best friends since birth. Our parents were friends before we were even born and they maintained that friendship after we were born. We hit it off from day one and had the full support of our parents.
We went through a lot together, like the loss of my father when I was 10 and you coming out in middle school. Our friendship didn’t change when you proudly announced that you were gay and I stood by your side, fighting off anyone who had a problem with you and even attending pride events with you.
You were so in love with me, but you knew I was straight and you didn’t want to ruin things so you kept it to yourself. You had to watch me start dating a girl freshman that you knew I wasn’t right for, and recently, you had to watch me break up with her after four years. I was a mess since I found out she had been cheating on me for the entire last year. I felt worthless and was going through it pretty badly. I told you I didn’t think anyone would want to date me, the idiot ever again, and in a joking way to comfort me you said you would.
Then I told you I was going to take you up on that offer. For real.
~The info~
Hey there. I’m looking for someone to do a long term slice-of-life romance. My character is in a dark place and decides to seek love from someone close to him, even if he doesn’t think it will work. Except it does, and my character finds himself falling for a boy despite never thinking he would.
There will be drama and conflict from outside sources as well as issues in the relationship to keep things interesting. I’m not looking for something that’s completely perfect and peachy.
If you’re interested in the prompt I just have a few simple requirements to list to make sure we both enjoy the role play.
  1. Please be able to write at least a paragraph per turn.
  2. Bring a character profile including name, age, height, a paragraph long bio, and a short hair real life character pic/gif. Any race or culture allowed!
  3. Be able to use basic grammar.
  4. Please be able to collaborate with me. I don’t enjoy role plays where one person is driving the plot, whether it’s you or me. I enjoy mutual writing and effort.
  5. Please be able to reply more than once or twice a day. I understand if you’re busy, but if you’re so busy you can’t reply for 2 weeks I’ll struggle to maintain interest.
And that’s all I have to say! If you’re interested just shoot me a private message and we can move to Kik or discord.
submitted by WoomyX1000 to RoleplayPartnerSearch [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 23:30 louiselovesjerry When will this OnlyFans trend die?

To preface, this is not intended to shame anyone doing sex-work. If someone enjoys doing that line of work, good for them.
But for me personally, I wouldn’t want to date someone who has done/does OnlyFans. If I started talking to someone and they bring up OF, I would lose interest in them immediately.
I’m so tired of the endless OnlyFans links on dating profiles, reddit, Instagram, etc. Personally, I don’t understand it. I don’t like how it’s giving everyone and their brother a platform to scream for attention. As if Grindr wasn’t enough of a headache lol.
I feel like people may come at me for this. Maybe I’m getting old lol. But I yearn for a simple, monogamous relationship with someone and sometimes the gay community gets me down when I see so much OF spam.
What are y’alls thoughts?
submitted by louiselovesjerry to AskGaybrosOver30 [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 19:25 jw_mentions /r/HobbyDrama - "[Indie Nail Polish] Nail Polish Drama 2: Racism/Transphobia/Bad Customer Service Boogaloo"

I am a bot! Please send NotListeningItsABook a private message with any comments or feedback on how I work.
EDIT: As of Sat Oct 31 13:10:11 UTC 2020, the post is at [471pts2c]

About Post:

--- --- Notes
Submission [Indie Nail Polish] Nail Polish Drama 2: Racism/Transphobia/Bad Customer Service Boogaloo
Comments [Indie Nail Polish] Nail Polish Drama 2: Racism/Transphobia/Bad Customer Service Boogaloo
Author peachy_sweater
Subreddit /HobbyDrama
Posted On Thu Oct 29 23:42:51 UTC 2020
Score 471 as of Sat Oct 31 13:10:11 UTC 2020
Total Comments 139

Post Body:

All statements made in this post are opinions and perceptions of the individual contributor.
BACKGROUND
The last time we gathered--like, what, a week ago?--the world of indie nail polish had been exposed for the racism, homophobia, and/or ableism of some owners of indie brand polish brands, henceforth known as "makers." The TL;DR of that post is basically that there were two brands exposed:
  • One brand was engaging in what most people in the community would consider racist behavior. Back in July, the maker declined to share the message of BLM on her social media or create a polish in which some of the proceeds would go to a charity to benefit BLM. Her arguments were mostly that she never wants to use her platform for politics or any social movement, that she isn't sure if the donations would actually go to helping black lives, and that also because of her religion, she didn't feel comfortable doing so. The counterargument to that was basically black lives matter, and silence means complacency, which is unacceptable. Many people asked the two biggest group buys, PPU and HHC, to ban her from participation. The result of this was that the brand was banned from working with the two groups because it appears she doubled down on her stance when asked privately about it. Many have vowed to not buy from this maker or buy from any collaborations, boxes, or group buys that use her brand.
  • There was another brand who has previously been exposed for homophobic beliefs, and as a part of this, was essentially re-exposed for things she said in the past, e.g. that she didn't believe in gay marriage and gay rights. She allegedly at one point had turned her FB profile picture into a graphic that said something about marriage only being between man and woman, but unfortunately those receipts have been lost to time, as this was 4-5y ago and nobody thought to take a screenshot. She has since come forward and said that her views have changed, and she believes in gay rights and gay marriage. Some have given her the benefit of the doubt, others believe she is saying what she needs to say in order to not lose sales and not be kicked out of the two largest group buys in the indie nail polish community, and have since vowed to no longer buy polishes from her or from collaborations/group buys that have her in them. Other brands who were problematic in the past were also discussed with similar sentiments.
OKAY, WE'RE GETTING THERE
This event last week was apparently the straw that broke the camel's back, but in the background of all of this, there has always been discussion and discourse in the indie nail polish world for quite some time about problematic makers. Probably a dozen or so makers and swatchers have been "canceled" for problematic behavior in the six or so years I've been a part of the community personally. To name a few other notable incidents:
So, with all that history and context in mind, that brings us to...
THE THREAT OF LITIGATION / MAKE POLISH FUN AGAIN
So it turns out some of these canceled makers are getting real tired of their ex-customers voting with their wallet and spreading the word about their behavior and misdeeds. Today, there are three indie brands—all of which have been accused one way or another of being problematic—that have formed "Strike To Ignite," a group to fight the "cyber bullying" of their brands online. Their mission statement reads: “Strike2Ignite is dedicated to lawfully striking against global online cyber bullying including business defamation & interference such as blacklisting.”
Leading the charge is our Cheeto fangirl herself, Jennifer. It would personally not surprise me if this was 75% her idea, because she manages to find herself in trouble pretty consistently in the indie community. She has also been criticized for creating an eyeshadow that allegedly wasn’t actually eye-safe because it’s not meant to be used near mucous membranes, taping sparklers to her hands in a now-deleted YouTube video… the list goes on. At this point I legitimately believed she was starting controversies in a “all publicity is good publicity” sort of way. She might have started the group for that exact reason, lmao.
Second on the list is Bianca. She more or less outed herself for being transphobic towards trans women because she claims "lesbians don't do dick." She claims that she is upset by trans activists who say that TERF lesbians are nothing more than "vagina fetishists" and not real lesbians. I actually kind of-ish sympathize with her because it feels bad to shit on a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and think this maybe could be a fair feeling to have, but Bianca's only argument as to why she doesn't want to date trans women is that she "doesn't do dick." The issue with this of course is that some trans women have had bottom surgery, and also trans men don't have dicks, yet it would be very unlikely that Bianca would want to date a trans man. She is focusing solely on the genitals of the person and not the person as a whole. There are likely valid reasons to not want to date a trans woman, but Bianca's reason is pretty transparently transphobic because it literally only focuses on the genitals of the person, which isn’t what gender identity is about. Will I get sued for saying this? We'll just have to find out!
Lastly, we have Danette. What's probably the most problematic about her is that she made a polish collection called "It's A Conspiracy," celebrating a known racist, Jeffree Star, and his collaboration collection with another known racist, Shane Dawson. Her team argued that she was just a fan of the eyeshadow palette colors, but some are still offended that she would make a collection that is linked to two racists. As far as I know, though, most of the issues the community has with her is with her as a person. She's known to have been criticized for having bad customer service,, and for being somewhat short and rude with customers. For example, a customer was trying to organize a group buy, and her response is literally short, and rude..
So the news of this group forming has the community pretty shook and also full of memes. Nothing makes nail polish fun again like being sued, right? We have yet to see how many, if any, brands or swatchers will "join the cause." In the 3 days that this S2I has existed, they have amassed a whopping 14 followers, so that seems telling. In response, more than a fair few brands in the community have stated that they would never censor people from giving their opinions on a brand, would never join S2I, etc.. It will definitely be interesting to see what happens in the future, though. Personally, I’m just hoping I don’t have any identifiable information on this account, lmao. Anyway though, in the meantime, I’ll just leave you with Strike 2 Ignite’s latest message, because it's actually pretty funny.
edits for typos and fixing links

Related Comments (2):

--- --- Notes
Author CrazyLogical1
Posted On Fri Oct 30 15:55:48 UTC 2020
Score 14 as of Sat Oct 31 13:10:11 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
Body link
Jehovah's Witnesses. They have to maintain public political neutrality for politics to the point many don't even vote and are actually discouraged from donating to *any* cause according to a friend who was raised one. The BLM movement *is* a political movement in the eyes of many, and police reform and how to go about it is a political stance.
I actually experienced this myself when I was charity canvassing. I had a fewJWs donate anonymously because it's a loophole in the rule or something? I don't know, but my instant guess when reading that part was "must be a Jehovah's Witness".
Although if my guess is true then she would be between a rock and a hard place, because a lot of people don't like the JW faith.
Edit: Just want to clarify that I do support the BLM movement. But I can understand why someone who is obliged to political neutrality wouldn't.
--- --- Notes
Author nonsequitureditor
Posted On Fri Oct 30 17:29:04 UTC 2020
Score 2 as of Sat Oct 31 13:10:11 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
oh no, I knew about the justifying slavery part. I just have never heard of a religion (other than jehovah's witnesses, apparently) that forbids you from speaking about a movement like BLM.
submitted by jw_mentions to jw_mentions [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 02:01 Main_Classroom How soon should we be discussing sexual positions?

So as gay men we don’t have the luxury of knowing what positions our partners play unless we meet them on an app and it’s in their profile.
When should you discuss sexual positions?
Me personally I feel like it should be known on the first date.
I top and dated another guy who tops but said that he was a Vers top. However he didn’t seem to enjoy getting fucked much and when he did it seemed like he was doing it out of obligation and wanted it to be over.
I feel like the sooner it’s known the better that way we’re not wasting each other’s time. How soon do you guys bring this up?
submitted by Main_Classroom to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 00:42 peachy_sweater [Indie Nail Polish] Nail Polish Drama 2: Racism/Transphobia/Bad Customer Service Boogaloo

All statements made in this post are opinions and perceptions of the individual contributor.
BACKGROUND
The last time we gathered--like, what, a week ago?--the world of indie nail polish had been exposed for the racism, homophobia, and/or ableism of some owners of indie brand polish brands, henceforth known as "makers." The TL;DR of that post is basically that there were two brands exposed:
OKAY, WE'RE GETTING THERE
This event last week was apparently the straw that broke the camel's back, but in the background of all of this, there has always been discussion and discourse in the indie nail polish world for quite some time about problematic makers. Probably a dozen or so makers and swatchers have been "canceled" for problematic behavior in the six or so years I've been a part of the community personally. To name a few other notable incidents:
So, with all that history and context in mind, that brings us to...
THE THREAT OF LITIGATION / MAKE POLISH FUN AGAIN
So it turns out some of these canceled makers are getting real tired of their ex-customers voting with their wallet and spreading the word about their behavior and misdeeds. Today, there are three indie brands—all of which have been accused one way or another of being problematic—that have formed "Strike To Ignite," a group to fight the "cyber bullying" of their brands online. Their mission statement reads: “Strike2Ignite is dedicated to lawfully striking against global online cyber bullying including business defamation & interference such as blacklisting.”
Leading the charge is our Cheeto fangirl herself, Jennifer. It would personally not surprise me if this was 75% her idea, because she manages to find herself in trouble pretty consistently in the indie community. She has also been criticized for creating an eyeshadow that allegedly wasn’t actually eye-safe because it’s not meant to be used near mucous membranes, taping sparklers to her hands in a now-deleted YouTube video… the list goes on. At this point I legitimately believed she was starting controversies in a “all publicity is good publicity” sort of way. She might have started the group for that exact reason, lmao.
Second on the list is Bianca. She more or less outed herself for being transphobic towards trans women because she claims "lesbians don't do dick." She claims that she is upset by trans activists who say that TERF lesbians are nothing more than "vagina fetishists" and not real lesbians. I actually kind of-ish sympathize with her because it feels bad to shit on a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and think this maybe could be a fair feeling to have, but Bianca's only argument as to why she doesn't want to date trans women is that she "doesn't do dick." The issue with this of course is that some trans women have had bottom surgery, and also trans men don't have dicks, yet it would be very unlikely that Bianca would want to date a trans man. She is focusing solely on the genitals of the person and not the person as a whole. There are likely valid reasons to not want to date a trans woman, but Bianca's reason is pretty transparently transphobic because it literally only focuses on the genitals of the person, which isn’t what gender identity is about. Will I get sued for saying this? We'll just have to find out!
Lastly, we have Danette. What's probably the most problematic about her is that she made a polish collection called "It's A Conspiracy," celebrating a known racist, Jeffree Star, and his collaboration collection with another known racist, Shane Dawson. Her team argued that she was just a fan of the eyeshadow palette colors, but some are still offended that she would make a collection that is linked to two racists. As far as I know, though, most of the issues the community has with her is with her as a person. She's known to have been criticized for having bad customer service,, and for being somewhat short and rude with customers. For example, a customer was trying to organize a group buy, and her response is literally short, and rude..
So the news of this group forming has the community pretty shook and also full of memes. Nothing makes nail polish fun again like being sued, right? We have yet to see how many, if any, brands or swatchers will "join the cause." In the 3 days that this S2I has existed, they have amassed a whopping 14 followers, so that seems telling. In response, more than a fair few brands in the community have stated that they would never censor people from giving their opinions on a brand, would never join S2I, etc.. It will definitely be interesting to see what happens in the future, though. Personally, I’m just hoping I don’t have any identifiable information on this account, lmao. Anyway though, in the meantime, I’ll just leave you with Strike 2 Ignite’s latest message, because it's actually pretty funny.
edits for typos and fixing links
submitted by peachy_sweater to HobbyDrama [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 23:10 alldoneinfun I haven't had sex for nearly twenty years. Now I have a problem.

I'm sorry this is so long. I guess I had a lot of tea to spill.
I'm a straight female, mid-forties, and I've been celibate since 2001. I've only ever gotten two things out of relationships, and that's been pain and disappointment.
I dated. I really tried. I was with someone for two years, 2003 - 2005. He never touched me. He became ill, and as the disease progressed, he went from a semi-decent person to a raving, critical asshole.
But I felt like I would be the asshole to walk out on him. I tried to help by being there, by gaming with him and giving him his meds when he had a hard time getting through the night (we didn't live together).
I built him a gaming PC for his birthday because I wanted him to be happy about something again. Nope. He screamed at me, calling me a moron because I didn't push the connector for the case fan all the way in. When I opened the case and tried to tap it into place, I was crying so hard my hands wouldn't work. Afterwards, he never failed to bring it up for laughs.
I knitted him a sweater because he said he was cold. He threw it back at me. Told me his 'Gramma did that shit and' he 'fucking hated it.'
Nearer to the end, he'd randomly say things like 'I'd never take care of somebody else's kids. I'd do what lions do and kill the cubs that aren't mine. Just throw those kids in the street and run over them.' I remember crying a little in he car that night and trying to hide it. He laughed and called me self-possessed. I don't even know what started it. I didn't - and don't - have kids.
I broke up with him after he suggested that one of my young relatives should 'die bloody and beaten to a stain.' That was enough. He could say anything he wanted to me, but not my little cousin.
My self-esteem is magnificently shitty. It never occurred to me that it *wasn't* okay for him to make the same remarks about me.
Over the next fifteen years, I medicated for severe depression. It dulled my libido, but I still dated in the hopes of finding someone kind and compatible. I dated men who turned out to be pathological liars. Men who bragged about their sexual talents but were, in fact, impotent. While pretending they weren't (longer story).
Men who weren't kind enough to ghost without leaving a cruel voicemail ('I DO like you. You're smart and really funny, but I want someone I'm actually physically attracted to. But (singing) don't be sad, cause 2 out of 3 ain't bad! Haha!').
Men who stole my clothing. Men who wanted me to help them determine their sexuality. Spoiler alert - I am the gay litmus test, and all were, indeed, gay. I'm happy for them, really! Live your truth! I wish it hadn't been at my expense.
I kept on until 2007, when I couldn't be a punching bag anymore. I moved away for grad school. I went on one date in six years, and it was awkward and terrible. I sent him an apology then deleted my dating profile.
I went on another date in 2013. We got together to watch a horror movie, and he never looked at me once. I tried to encourage him a little to at least take his jacket off, to talk to me, but he kept his eyes glued to the screen. As soon as the movie was over, he jumped up and ran, stopping only long enough to give me the weirdest goddamn hug before getting in his car and peeling away.
No loss, I understand now, but that failure, hat continuation of the same old problem, sent me into a spiral. I gained a lot of weight, moving back up into obesity after a significant loss. I'm still there now.
I woke up six weeks ago wanting to try again. I don't know how, especially in the shape I'm in. I'm 5'5, 255. Lockdown was not kind, and I self-comforted alone, with food, for six months while teleworking. I don't know how to function like a real person anymore.
And I don't know why the need for sex has been driving me insane for the last six weeks. Hot and ready doesn't just describe pizza anymore, IYKWIM. I don't take care of it. I read or do homework for an online class.
I moved here for my job. It's a rural area, and I don't know anyone. There's nowhere to go (Covid, right?), no therapists in-network, and no way to meet anyone at work. I break into sweats at the thought of creating a dating profile again. I can't subject myself to more and worse of the same. I don't know how to work within this situation.
I could absolutely mess someone up right now in the best and sweatiest possible way. But there's just...nothing. There's no solution. And I am finally, after all these years, angry.
submitted by alldoneinfun to confessions [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 18:35 Jayy-B_van_V Am I just salty?

Hey there, my fellow gays :) So when I use Grindr, I very often now see profiles of women. Like not trans or anything, just genuinely hetero (or bi or whatever) women, trying to hook up. I am honestly pissed off that gay apps/websites are used by needy women when it's supposed to be used by needy gay men. Am I overreacting? I mean of course this is not prohibited or anything and I don't report them, as we are all inclusive. Though some of them are pretty bitchy towards me when I simply ask them what they are looking for on a gay man dating website... I don't know, I feel like a sexist saying this but it is making me a little bit worried that we just can't have something nice for us. I'm sorry, I really don't wanna sound sexist or like an ass hole. What are you thinking about this?
submitted by Jayy-B_van_V to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:52 ApplePiesNStarStuff Um...I am definitely the Q in LGBTQ+

I originally posted in bisexual, but maybe belongs here?
Alright. I have created a crisp clean Reddit for this and gawd this is gonna be long.
Let’s start with some background: I’m a mom, in my late 30s, I’ve had only straight sex, I’ve only every dated men.* When I was married (15 years ago), the only way I climaxed was when I’d fantasize my college roommate, with whom I had no romantic relationship, just a super hard lady boner. I didn’t realize until after my divorce in 2014 that I was bi and that was one of the indicators. I still did not pursue anything with women because I chalked it up to the typical college exploration phase. Plus, my ultra conservative father would shit kittens if I even hinted at any kind of non-heteronormative sexuality. Cool. I can do this.
2018 rolled around, and I started some serious therapy. I’ve always been in and out of therapists’ offices because I grew up traumatized (like my therapist told me today: while discussing one trauma, I also let it slip that I was raped three times in 2015 by three different men just as easily as I was discussing the daily crossword I do. “Yeah, mom beat me for that, I was raped by three different men in 2015. The answer to 22 down was hippo, which is funny.”). In two years, by my own measure and my therapist’s, psychiatrist’s, and pcp’s, I’ve done a lot of growing. Since I’ve cleared a lot of trauma, other memories are starting to bubble to the surface. We’ve been doing trauma therapy for 18 months, and this is a normal progression.
A few months ago, I started to wonder if I had suppressed my sexuality in some way to prevent further abuse. I had to remain neutral at all times to avoid abuse (that is, too happy? Beaten. Too mad? Beaten. Too sad? Beaten. Too joyful? Beaten. Neutral. At. All. Times.). Completely unrelated, a friend of mine suggested I start watching this show, Being Erica, and one of the episodes explores sexuality and holy shit. I related but not in the same way the main character did. Okay. I put that in my pocket just to think about.
I was goofing off on Instagram a few weeks ago, and rabbit holed on LGBTQ+ reels that I really started to relate to. Okay. Put that in my now fuller pocket.
Goofing off on Facebook last night in an adults group I’m in and I came across a profile of someone I’ve never seen before and I was instantly attracted, like I have never been to anyone before. And she’s not only gorgeous but ... she’s smart and funny and carefree too. (Granted i didn’t like reach out or catcall because creepy and rude but still...um. What?)
And then I really started to think. I’ve always been attracted to girls. My first crush was Danielle. I was 6? 7? Her eyes were so chocolate brown, she had this freckle above her lip, she was as sweet as pie ... all the hallmarks Of crushes, I just didn’t put it together until recently. Then there was Jan (I was 10? 11?), Casey my freshman year of high school, Jessica sophomore year...I can name and see all these girls’ faces without thinking too hard. I can’t recall most of my boyfriends’ names, let alone their faces.
I think my (vile, awful, abusive, narcissist) mother knew because she brought a lesbian over to our house, paraded her around, “this is Carol, and she’s a lesbian, which means she likes women like I like men,” acted very supportive until Carol left, and then my mother told me lesbians were evil, and no child of hers would ever be gay or lesbian. The one time I did try to come out to her as bi, she reminded me that deviance would be rewarded with being disowned and equated queerness with pedophilia. At the time, I was still very much trying to earn my mother’s love (I have since given up that fight).
But now I don’t know what to do. Am I bi? Am I a lesbian? How do I explore this? Is there an app for “hi I’m awkward and I’ve never done this, can you help me?” Tinder for idiots? Is it too late for me? And what about my children? I’ve raised them to be accepting of everyone: my older child came out to me as gay a few summers ago (they were only seven at the time and had a crush on their best friend), and I said cool and that was that. Their father was less thrilled and they retreated a little, but I keep reminding them it’s okay to be who they are and love who they love. We are a sex positive, open and affirming, non ablest, crazy liberal, love is love family ... so why am I so scared to explore this? What if their father attempts to take my children (2) away because we live in a conservative state and :: gestures at the state of the Supreme Court ::
Is this even the right forum? I don’t even know where to reach out.
Thank you for reading this far.
submitted by ApplePiesNStarStuff to lgbt [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 00:22 TruthSeeker_woman My personal experience and thoughts about the HSTS cluster

Hi there,
So, this is my first post here and on Reddit in general. I’ve finished my transition (from male to female) quite some time ago, dysphoria was gone for good, and I continued on with my life. Like many in the trans community, my understanding of my experience was that a certain part of the brain which “controls our gender perception” was feminized – in other words, “the female essence.”
Intuitively, I always felt that my femininity, both in body and mind, was connected to it. Still, I thought it was surely possible for other trans women to be somewhat more masculine but still have that part of the brain (which controls gender perception) feminized. I had doubts from time to time regarding that theory but didn’t give it too much thought. I came across “the man who would be queen” years ago, during my teenage years, but mostly dismissed it. Though I would fit the HSTS profile in many ways, I just felt that the whole etiology was not serious. I was of European ancestry, from a highly educated upper-middle-class family, and definitely not sexually promiscuous. In a sense, I think that the writing style of Prof. Michael Bailey put many people off at the time, including me. I just felt that Bailey was one of these “full of themselves” academics, presenting trans people as if they were pathetic sad cases. Reading it again many years later, I actually found a lot of the stuff there interesting.
The change in my thinking came gradually as I was observing other transgender people. I came to actually accept a lot of what Blanchard’s work discovered, and that happened when I read an article about the story of an androphilic trans woman who apparently, apart from being feminine, didn’t actually experienced gender dysphoria prior to transitioning! According to her, she wanted to transition to be able to better attract male sexual partners (and lots of them). She said that it didn’t turn out as she had wanted, as many straight men are ashamed to openly date a trans woman, and that she would recommend other feminine gay men to think twice before transitioning. That moment I came to realize something – here we have a person who didn’t experience gender dysphoria prior to transitioning and didn’t experience it afterward. Therefore, there was a strong indicator that the “feminine essence” theory was wrong.
So, I searched for more information about Blanchard’s theory - I came upon Kay Brown’s website, Rod Fleming’s videos and of course this subreddit and tailcalled’s website (along with looking at interviews of Blanchard, Michael Bailey, and James Cantor). In addition, I searched for scientific papers that may help to illuminate this issue. I came to realize how the majority of the trans population in the western world does not fall into the HSTS cluster, and not only that, but how little members among the HSTS speak for themselves/about their experience.
In my personal life, I am mostly “stealth” now, but here on the internet, I hope to share and talk more about trans related issues from my experience. I’ll start by briefly going through my story: I came from an upper-middle-class family and I had (and have) a great relationship with my parents. I also didn’t have any co-morbidities with my gender dysphoria (apart from social anxiety which I developed during my teen years and treated through therapy before transitioning). I was feminine during my childhood, but I was also very lucky that I didn’t get teased for that (mostly, apart from some older boys). During my early childhood, I can’t say that I experienced what I would call gender dysphoria. I wanted for example to grow my hair long, but accepted that “because I’m a boy I can’t do it.” Nevertheless, I did play with girl toys that passed to me from my sister (and played with trucks and cars as if they were dolls with personalities😊). I also befriended both boys and girls and was popular among my peers (though early in kindergarten I socialized almost exclusively with the girls). Overall, I can say that I had a happy childhood. I believe that I didn’t have gender dysphoria at that time was because I could just be myself.
Things started to change though when I approached puberty (even a bit earlier, in late childhood). The pressure to be more boy-like increased and I started to feel uncomfortable with it. I also started to be sexually attracted to men. Soon enough I started to feel like I was in a cage, unable to be my authentic self anymore in front of society, without being socially ostracized for it. Gender dysphoria kicked in and was paralyzing. On the one hand, I had to consciously suppress any signs of femininity (without completely succeeding in it - body language especially), and on the other, I couldn’t bring myself to be more masculine, as it was completely foreign to my nature. I remember coming home from the first day in middle school and thinking to myself how I should have been a girl and not a boy, as well as being terrified from growing up to be in a role that I didn’t want to be in. Shortly after, I accidentally came upon a newspaper article about a transwoman’s story. I realized that there was a way to transition to be a woman. I came out to my family, and for many years I tried to gain access to puberty blockers/hormones with no success (there was no treatment for people under 18 in my country in these years).
Fortunately, I came through puberty with feminine body proportions (such as waist to hip ratio), and transition went easily afterward. As other people in my life said, I just look more “right” being a female than a male. I also have a loving boyfriend, and generally couldn’t be any happier with my transition, nor I questioned at any point in time if it was the right decision for me. Interestingly, taking tailcalled’s femininity-masculinity survey I scored 4.82, way beyond the average woman (in femininity). I don’t know how accurate it is, but I do find it quite interesting (my boyfriend confirmed that I’m the most feminine woman that he has ever known, haha).

To describe the HSTS phenomenon, I would like to use the term psychosexual inversion from here on, as I feel that it more accurately reflects this type of transsexualism. In regard to this inversion, one thing in my sexuality that stood out in contrast to what is said about HSTS was how I approach men sexually – I generally feel comfortable being intimate with a man only if I feel secure, loved, and protected by him. It was true even when I had a higher sex drive due to testosterone, and that made me very averse to casual sex throughout my life. I know that this is a very typical female sexual behavior, as men can more easily separate between sex and their emotions (including gay men and some HSTS that I know of).
In addition, I find myself also lacking the flamboyancy of many feminine gay men and some HSTS. I think that this feminine flamboyancy is actually a combination of femininity and a more masculinized “sexual behavior,” having some connection to what I said earlier about how one approaches partners. I believe that if one is averse to non-committed sexual attention from potential partners, one is also much less likely to strongly signal their sexual availability. As an example for this feminine-masculine combination, think about some trans women who are happy to show off their cleavages and have a quite exaggerated female body language (I don’t judge them in any way though, just make an observation😊).

Here are some other observations and thoughts about HSTS (male to female) that I have:
  1. They are far from being a homogenous group, though they are all psychosexual inverts to some degree.
  2. In societies that are more homophobic and hostile to male femininity, one would expect to find more HSTS. That is why I think that Bailey believes that this type of transsexuality is linked to an "immigrant background" and a lower IQ.
  3. In societies that are more open to male homosexuality, one may find a lower incidence of HSTS.
  4. In regard to the previous point, and from knowing the gay community a little, there is also a push towards suppressing femininity in gay men. That may lower HSTS incidence further, but in turn, may make some feminine gay men quite dysphoric and bitter (I’ve seen it myself). I think that it’s important to note that most gay men are attracted to masculinity and not just male bodies. Given that gay men are more feminine than average, a paradox arises. Though I do think that most gay men will be happy to live as gay men, there is some truth to what Rod Fleming referred to as “the new gay man” in the west.
  5. One would expect to find a higher degree of psychosexual inversion in HSTS among the more educated and higher socioeconomic classes (being gay/feminine man is more acceptable there, so only those who have a higher degree of psychosexual inversion will still have the incentive/need to transition). I honestly don’t understand why researchers such as Bailey ignored the degree of psychosexual inversion when talking about why people would transition – from what I’ve seen, he merely talked about IQ, immigrant background, problematic family dynamics and autism. These may indeed have an effect (especially in certain cases), but in contrast to what he and Dr. Zucker believe, I don’t see the failure to masculinize at puberty as necessarily a result of the issues he brought up. It may also stem from just having a higher degree of psychosexual inversion.
  6. HSTS are not more “gay,” but have a higher degree of psychosexual inversion than average gay men. They also differ among themselves with this trait.
  7. On the one end, HSTS may resemble feminine gay men (for example will have a higher number of sexual partners or may be more flamboyant compared to natal women), and on the other end, some will very much resemble feminine women (for example will tend to be gentle and long to secure a loyal male partner, to become a mother, etc.). I believe that some of the teenagers treated in the Netherlands very much represent that other end of the HSTS population. See for example this teenage girl from the Netherlands: (unfortunately I couldn’t find anymore the version with the English subtitles)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_ePqPFtvc&ab_channel=Genderkinderen
Anyway, I made this really long, but I felt like I had to jump in and give my perspective on the matter. Feel more than free to ask me questions if you have, share your thoughts, and thank you tailcalled personally for all of the work you are doing. In the age of so much politics surrounding trans issues, I hope that reason, knowledge and compassion will help us to eventually make things better for everyone.
submitted by TruthSeeker_woman to Blanchardianism [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 20:02 Porlaker What happened to ohmojo.com? It is not opening. Is this happening only to me?

You will find a gay man near me no problem sir with this free gay dating site. Moviesflix With a commitment to connecting gay singles worldwide, we bring to you a safe and easy platform to use to help you meet your match. Once it has been rated it will appear on your profile and in searches. I have my GFS to satisfy my sexual need but still sometimes I prefer guys, because I like it... Though nothing sexual or fun happened, that image just got etched in my memory for ever. In Chatrooms geht es üblicher Weise um schwulen Sex und Dating-Themen.
submitted by Porlaker to u/Porlaker [link] [comments]


2020.10.28 00:46 dirilupus I [M22] need help meeting people outside of dating apps

I graduated and moved back to Toronto this April, and my plan was obviously to take advantage of being back in the city and really put in the effort to meet people. I was gonna go out to gay bars for the first time and join an LGBT volleyball team. That has all been canceled and I accepted that so I’ve stuck to apps which has been fine until more recently where I’ve become really fatigued of online dating.
I get how useful dating apps can be to connect two people who would otherwise never meet, but I’m really struggling with it right now. I feel like it’s a constant cycle of finding someone attractive, matching, and then messaging for a bit until it drops off. Either they lose interest in me, or I lose interest in them because a short bio and some photos are such a bad way of really understanding someone. The couple of pandemic dates I’ve been on so far have gotten me no further. Again, I lose interest or they do because we didn’t really know each other that well.
Hookups I find easier in some ways because it’s like a guaranteed activity that we’ll both enjoy. So it’s like an ice-breaker to get to really know someone. But I find myself mostly involved with (or messaged by) guys that are unavailable to date for some reason or another.
It’s even worse for me trying to find gay friends on apps. I’ve met all my current friends organically through life, I struggle to make friends with people I don’t know in such a forced way.
I just keep thinking about all my friends in really happy relationships. They’ve all met their SO through mutual friends, events, or work. And it makes sense too. Back when I was still dating women, the girls I dated were friends of friends. I got to meet them organically over time. I probably would not have known I’d like them so much as a person from a profile. Dating men online I haven’t been able to form something more serious than a long term hookup.
I’ve come to realize I want that same thing now. But I’m struggling to meet people. I guess I’m looking for advice. Or maybe just some stories of some of you guys who have met boyfriends/partners not on a dating app.
Anyways thank you for reading about my woes. And let me know if you know of any fun gay events in the GTA I can participate in. I’d love to grow my social circle and make some (socially distanced) friends.
submitted by dirilupus to gaybros [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 21:52 heartlessgiraff Straight men on gay tinder

So I’m just curious if anyone has any answers to this: why are straight men on tinder matching with gay men?
I recently swiped right on a guy I found attractive and didn’t notice until later when he matched me and messaged me first that his profile says he is straight.
Why or maybe the better question is how? Anyone have any insight on how/why a straight man who considers himself straight is matching with gay men on a dating app?
submitted by heartlessgiraff to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 16:02 grayperegrine Changing Red Flags

I dated extensively prior to coming out/transitioning (mostly men; I am very gay). Basically, I started dating at 14 and the longest I've gone without a sexual or romantic partnebuddy/guy of some kind since then has been the lockdown this year with the pandemic.
Since the majority of my dating was prior to transition (I don't consider my marriage dating, although he was definitely my sexual and romantic partner), most of my red flag calibrations are for male-female romantic/sexual encounters, despite being a gay man. Life is weird like that.
Except it seems to have my calibrations way off for being a man dating men. I almost didn't go out with my husband on a first date because his profile read like Red Square on May Day. From his self-proclaimed status as a Dom to being a massage therapist into complementary medicine to calling himself a gentleman to talking about his ex in his profile (and then telling me, in messages, that his ex helped him write said profile) - it was every "Nice Guy (TM)" flag that could have been thrown into the ring. Despite myself, I went out on that first date and he was anything but a "Nice Guy (TM)." (I don't know if gay guys have a version of the straight Nice Guy.)
This has held up since my husband passed away and I've encountered other guys who red flag as Nice Guys (TM) but turn out to just be genuinely nerdy kind men. Like, my FWB's boyfriend who collects swords, follows Jediism, and quite literally wears fedoras. I was very ready for the Nice Guy (TM) that didn't happen. He's a fedora-wearing sword collector who is also a genuinely nice guy.
Now obviously, wearing a fedora or proclaiming yourself a Dom on a dating profile (or the other FWB who had "Full Communism in the Bedroom!" in his profile, which also would have been a big red flag prior to transitioning, or the guy who just casually wears top hats) do not a Nice Guy (TM) make, but when I was living and presenting as a women, they made for pretty easy shorthand for weeding out the love bomber, the pick up artist, the cheap "male feminist," and the Nice Guy." Now, I haven't encountered any of these male subtypes in the gay dating scene, while the (ostensibly) female-male dating scene was rife with them. Maybe they don't exist in the gay wilds?

Has anyone else had to re-calibrate their red flag radar when shifting into the gay dating world?
submitted by grayperegrine to gaytransguys [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 13:10 VladtheMemer [REQUEST] [STEAM] Grand Theft Auto IV: The Complete Edition (€19.99)

Hi, everyone! I am requesting GTA IV The Complete Edition, which includes the base GTA 4 game and the two DLCs that came out for it, The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony, along with some performance improvements and changes to the radio which I plan to undo with mods.
The story of how I started playing through the GTA series is pretty simple. During lockdown I would stay up all night every 2 or 3 days watching Vinesauce Joel's GTA streams, starting with Vice City, one of the first games I had ever played but never beat. I had so much fun watching those streams that I had to go back and finish VC for myself, which was awesome despite all the limitations that game had like no free camera while driving, slightly clunky controls and shooting and some infuriating missions. The radio, nostalgia, map, story and gameplay once I got used to it more than made up for those negatives though and playing it felt really good and fun.
I finally beat the game and I wanted to play more, so I started watching Joel's San Andreas streams and I had a lot of fun with that game too, only one of the 3D trilogy that I still go back to today. Then I went on to GTA III, which was still an ongoing series on Joel's streams. That game was rough, but it had its own charm and atmosphere thanks to the low-budget radio (excluding the Scarface soundtrack, that's anything but low-budget) and its story and style.
As for GTA V, I beat that game a few years ago and I still have memories of sharing my screen with a friend on Discord, adding shitty custom songs and going on rampages with the riot mod at 20-something fps on a tiny window or just driving on the highway listening to the amazing hip-hop or talk show radio stations (though this game had the weakest radio overall in my opinion, at least 3 has an excuse and sounds unique today). I also played a lot of GTA Online with another friend after Epic gave it away, I stayed up all night downloading that game cause speed was throttled due to how many people were getting it (the Epic store was down for a little time too before that which is funny to me, thousands of people were flocking to get it).
Now, the requested game finally, GTA IV Complete Edition. I had been thinking of playing it just to have some closure knowing I beat every GTA game on PC and now that Joel has just started a playthrough on his stream it seems like the perfect time to do it. His first stream of this game was hilarious (he has uploaded a second stream to Youtube but I haven't watched it yet) and I recommend checking his stuff out. I used to play this game a lot as a little kid, restarting over and over and thus never finishing it, same for the Episodes From Liberty City stories. The farthest I got in IV was killing Playboy X, doing the bank heist and hiding Manny's body, I don't remember much about EFLC. I know the area surrounding your first apartment like the back of my hand due to how many times I've started from scratch. I always loved playing with the physics by jumping out of a car at high speeds, shoving, punching, shooting and fighting NPCs, spawning helicopters and jumping out once I got to max altitude and throwing bricks around (you could pick up bricks and throw them wherever the hell you felt like in this game, how does nobody talk about this?!). I think I've fucked around like that in this game more than I did in any other GTA, maybe only GTA V comes close.
I would love to finally beat this game and the DLC stories and I would truly appreciate it if you guys could help me out here. I realize this is a long-ass read, but I just wanted to prove that I know these games, I have a history with them dating back to my first gaming memories and that I will play and enjoy this game if I get it from here. I could write entire essays on each game but I think it's time to wrap it up and leave it to you to decide whether or not you want to gift me Grand Theft Auto IV: The Complete Edition
My Steam profile
submitted by VladtheMemer to GiftofGames [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 04:30 Brieeti Introducing

Hello! I just create my profile here. I’m from a small town in Quebec Canada.
I was inactive since 2013 and been disfellowshipped in 2017. I celebrated my first birthday this past summer. It was amazing.
I have been disfellowshipped because I’m gay. It has been very hard and humiliating to be confronted by 6 elders showing me MY OWN Instagram pics printed without permission.
I miss my parents, my sister and 2 nieces.
But in the end my brother and my best friend became inactive too.
Here is my story.
I have been raised as a jw at the age of 3, my brother was 4 and my sister was 6.
At 4, my brother became sick because of severe arthritis disease. He was 5. He had to stay at the children hospital in Montreal for at least a month every 6 months for a couple a years. I have suffered from losing my best friend... and I was missing my Mom so badly.
I was lucky to have a big sister to take care of me, and she and I were staying at other jw’s places for a week or two when my dad was at the hospital with my mom and brother.
It was very rough to see him became disabled slowly until he was in a wheelchair at 8.
My parents were and are still very dedicated to the congregation. My brother was suffering during the meetings but my parents didn’t want to stay home. They have tried everything they could to make my brother heal, they have spent thousands and thousands of dollars in many therapy.
So around the age of 8, I decided that I would take care of him for the rest of my life, and we were always together playing when he was not too much in pain.
At 13, I knew I was gay but I couldn’t think of tell my parents because they were already too traumatized about my brother’s disease.
At 18, he found a job because he didn’t want to depend on the government money. Yes he’s very smart !!!!
When I was 21, I moved to Montreal but after a couple of months I was missing him to much so I came back home. So I stayed with him at our parents house until he decided to try to live on his own home! So my dad and I worked very hard in the house he bought.
4 months later, I thought about my life and I couldn’t find why I was still at my parents and what was the point of my life. I became inactive. I was crying all day and at work too. I was frustrated because I’m gay and couldn’t accept it. I was asking WHY ME !!??
You know, when you’re taught all your life that people having feelings or even liking to watch same sex individuals is WRONG, Disgusting and that those people will not inherit god’s kingdom, it makes you HATE yourself !!! It’s so unhealthy to say such things to people!!! I HATED MYSELF !!!
2 more months later I came out of the closet to all of my friends and family. I had to tell everyone because I don’t like lies, I wanted to be authentic!!
My parents, as I knew, were traumatized again.
They tried to know what they had done to make me turn gay. They told me I might have been sexually abused at the age of 3. I still don’t know if it’s true or not but I don’t care.
I know they did all they could to make me happy but they couldn’t accept who I REALLY am.
So I was inactive for 4 years, I was seeing my family, specially my brother, sis and nieces as often as I could. My nieces were a gift to me, I loved them so much. I still do even though I saw them only 3 times in 4 years.
Meanwhile, my brother became inactive too.
So after 4 years of inactivity, the elders showed up at my work to tell me I had a judicial committee for homosexual acts. I asked what proof they had and he said: are you homosexual? I sais yes and are you heterosexual? He said yes but I’m married. Man Sleeping with men is a sin. I said oh really ? So being homosexual makes me a man sleeping with men ? That’s my definition?? I didn’t do anything wrong and you have no proof on what you say.
The next day he called me to say I was disfellowshipped. I was so angry that I couldn’t stop to say that they are a bunch of crazy people and he hung up on me.
I went to see my parents to tell them. They were very sad. They said please come back. So I went back to the meetings for 2 months. It was unbearable. I was suffering to be next to my parents and sis and nieces and not be able to talk to them.
I gave up, I chose myself instead of the others. I have been having anxiety and panic attacks for 6 months, taking pills 3-4 times a day, and sometimes it was so hard that I had to take more. One time I woke up In an ambulance going to the hospital. Awful time.
Afterwards it became a bit easier to live day by day...
So today I’m pretty happy. I see my brother almost every week. 2 years ago I told him to check with his doctor if he could have knees and ankle surgeries to make him able to walk again !!! Now he’s able to walk a bit and he is improving every week! And he is now dating the girl who was his physiotherapist!!! It’s amazing.
I am still single but maybe soon I will find the man who will make me feel like the luckiest man on earth. :)
I keep on focusing on positive thoughts!!!!
Thank you for reading me !
submitted by Brieeti to exjw [link] [comments]


2020.10.26 03:48 ParadoxRolaid These are the reasons why i want to end it

Reasons To Die :
Why didn't i kill myself just yet, i think am afraid of what comes next, i dont know if i have the strength. Am planning to. In a few days, weeks perhaps i probably will. ill just hope cutting me wont be that painful.
submitted by ParadoxRolaid to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]


2020.10.25 22:37 Alienhunterrrr How can an ugly guy get a reply/date?

I've been trying to meet someone both on and offline since I turned 20(8 years ago). I don't consider my single years as a teen as "tragic" as in fairness I never wanted a relationship and in my early adult like I'd guess the same as I tried meeting guys but didn't care much until the age of 23 where I actually wanted to meet someone seriously.
I never received messages before when I had tried but I taking things more serious I was actually trying more to spark a convo. My past account on a dating site I deleted to make a fresh new one. I had a profile adding all my hobbies and interests etc and some information. I actually managed to get 1 reply from a guy who only replied to say i was "hideously ugly". I had worries I was ugly in the past and heard many people say I was to my face as if I wasn't there and also behind my back(when they thought I couldn't hear). I've tried meeting guys in real life to the effect of being given a dirty look and them turning away.

So to any of the gay bros who are considered "ugly" how do I meet someone? I know its more difficult nowadays with then pandemic but still. I'm scared of dying alone never knowing what it felt like to be loved(and honestly the constant idea/confirmation from guys in my area that I am ugly and unlovable is really starting to take it's toll on my mental health.

Thank you for any help/advice.
submitted by Alienhunterrrr to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 20:05 tklmn Masc bttms and fem tops

So my problem is, I seem to be only attracting guys who prefer bottoming. And I’m pretty sure fem tops are usually attract other tops unless they are very very very clear about their position in their profile.
I always thought I was somehow feminine as I was bullied in school and never made any male friends or could relate to them in any way. But apparently I mostly attract other bottoms whenever I’m using dating apps (I don’t mean Grindr or hookup oriented apps)
I don’t want my profile text to say “hey just so you know, I’m bottom”, but I’m getting a little frustrated. Like, I’m ok with being minority in a hetero world. But then again I’m somehow a minority in a gay world not being a stereotypical bottom.
Btw: YES, I KNOW it’s ok to be the way I am. But it just leaves my already limited options even more limited.
I have no one to talk to about this so thank you for listening.
submitted by tklmn to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2020.10.24 04:25 fyp2017 The Reality of Life After the Red Pill #MGTOW #RedPill Truth

One of the hardest things to accept is Red Pill knowledge.
One of the main reasons for this is because most of us don't discover this until much later in our lives.
Almost from birth as men to our adolescence and into our teenage years we are groomed to behave as blue pill simps:
And most of us, believe that being blue pilled is the way and never realize that the Matrix isn't FUCKING real.
Some of us never meet Morpheus.
Keep in mind that even after Neo is unplugged from the Matrix, he is at times uncertain if he feels regret for taking the red pill and sometimes even upset that he is now in reality.
It takes him quite some time before he realizes that his mission is bigger than simply what he feels about himself. And the sooner he accepts his reality, the closer he gets to becoming the One.
In the last part of the movie, Neo asks the council to give him time to meditate on what his next move must be. Ultimately demonstrating that being alone, free from all distractions, and focusing on yourself is the key to finding all answers in your life.
Notice that Neo never asks Trinity what to do. He never consults with anyone, even Morpheus as he is Red Pilled and knows that he must always rely upon himself as a Red Pilled man.
Even the Oracle tells him: To thine self be true.
We all know what the answer is, and if we trust ourselves being confident in being alone, we are never afraid of what must be done.
Any person who awakens from a very deep sleep is unhappy to be awakened because more often than not, the reality awaiting them is something that takes work and energy rather than simply lying down and breathing.
This explains why there is so much push back from people around you.
Most people would rather live in a dream than confront reality. Reality for the most part does suck. Nobody is going to deny that. The reason is that in reality, it takes actual work and results are much harder to achieve and much more scarce than in the dream world.
To even lose 10 pounds and keep it off in reality takes over a year of hard work, countless failures, frustration, exhaustion, cardio, weight lifting and depravation to achieve this for most people.
The reality is much harder than we even imagined.
Yet in dreamland, we think there is a cheat, a hack somewhere that will magically help us to lose it all. Some pill, some diet, anything so that we don't have to put in the fucking work.
Yes, while some days you will see a difference, most days you won't see any change at all.
What's fucked up is that the change is something you notice after a year. Because you have become accustomed to the failure but continue on your mission relentlessly.
You forget about the result because the mission became the focus.
Then, one day someone tells you that you look fit. And you take notice.
This explains why substance abuse is so much higher during times of crisis.
The reality is what substance abusers are trying to escape from. The habit exists on never wanting to return.
The hardest part of becoming Red Pilled however is that you can not UNsee what you have seen. However, the sooner you come to terms with it and accept it, the sooner you can begin to work towards your ultimate mission that NEVER ends:
  1. To become the alpha YOU have always envisioned yourself to be.
  2. To become the One.
  3. To become the King you were born to be.
This mission also often becomes clouded and often times very hard to navigate because of all the surrounding people who are still blue pilled and the majority who keeps telling you that you are wrong. That there is an end. You just have to reach the "light at the end of the tunnel" .
But there is no fucking light there.
There is no end.
Even your own body and conscious thoughts tell you that it's just not worth it.
But it has never been about right or wrong.
Because the awakening is about you.
  1. The mission is about you.
  2. The ultimate reward is about you.
  3. Nobody can take that away because the NEXT mission never ends. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2S21VRAPy4&t=604s

submitted by fyp2017 to MGTOW2020 [link] [comments]


2020.10.23 08:45 sugardatingsites Ten Questions and Answers About BDSM

Ten Questions and Answers About BDSM
  1. What is BDSM?
Bondage, Domination, Sadism, and Masochism (BDSM) is any situation where people - of their own free will and choice - magnify the personal power elements between them and act this out for their pleasure. This may be a sexual pleasure, but it does not always have to be.
  1. Are there different forms of BDSM?
Yes, there are many different forms of BDSM dating sites. The two main forms are these:
* Lifestyle BDSM - This is the form where partners embed BDSM elements in their relationship in some way.
* Kink or fetish BDSM - This is the form where people, occasionally, seek to use power elements, predominantly for their sexual pleasure, without turning it into a lifestyle.
One is not more important, or more real, than the other. The two forms are just different. Quite often people grow from "kink" to "lifestyle"

https://preview.redd.it/1bybmr9ijsu51.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=43bad834a8ada41fbeadb2715d8f349bce49b683
  1. Is BDSM abnormal?
There are powerful elements in all forms of human behavior: at work, at home, in politics, in sports, and in (sexual) relationships. Magnifying the power element in your relationship is not abnormal. The current opinion among professionals (laid down in various diagnostic manuals, such as the American Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) is that consensual power exchange between informed and well-adjusted adults is normal and harmless (sexual) behavior.
  1. What "causes" BDSM feelings?
It is not entirely clear to science, why some people are attracted to BDSM and others are not. It appears that genetic encoding may have something to do with this and it may also be that upbringing, social environment and education may have an influence. The fact of the matter is that the jury is still out on this one and that we simply do not know the answer. Based on research by for example the Kinsey Institute, Cosmopolitan, Time Magazine, and several European universities and other sources it is estimated that between 15 and 30 percent of the adult Western population nurtures some form of BDSM emotions.
  1. Why is there such a social stigma on BDSM?
A significant part of the general public opinion on BDSM is based on very outdated information, such as the over 100 years old "Psychopatia Sexualis" (written by R. von Kraft-Ebbing at the end of the 19th century) and research by S. Freud in the early 20th century. Also, xenophobia (fear of the unknown) plays an important role when it comes to the general opinion about BDSM and so does ill-informed coverage of the subject by excess-oriented media. Lack of reliable, diligent scientific research on the subject also plays a part in this. Most research was done by therapists, seeking to promote themselves or their "therapy" rather than thoroughly researching the phenomena as such.
  1. I hear people who are very dominant in real life are actually submissive in bed. Is this true?
The fairy tale about high profile politicians or managers seeking to be submissive in bed originates from prostitutes ("commercial mistresses") trying to promote their services. The fact of the matter is that there is no proven connection between general social behavior and sexual behavior. Sexual behavior is a very individual thing, hence very different for individual people.
  1. Are people with a BDSM-inclination not actually all victims of childhood trauma or abuse?
Scientific research has taught us that the number of people with a (juvenile or other) traumatic background is not greater nor smaller than it is in any other social group. One will find trauma victims in every social group. Having said that, the general level of tolerance within the "BDSM group" allows for more discussion about such subjects, and the "BDSM community" is one of the very few social groups that actually and actively set up help and support facilities for such cases. There is no reason why people with a trauma history should not enter into BDSM-activity, provided they seek professional help and - on a personal level - deal with the trauma FIRST and OUTSIDE a BDSM-situation.
  1. At what age do BDSM-emotions emerge?
About 25 percent of the "BDSM population" (according to research by the POWERotics Foundation) has nurtured BDSM-like emotions from a very young age. Often, this group can remember being fascinated by power situations before the age of 12. Many others, however, "discover" their BDSM-preference at a much later stage, most often after dramatic events in their personal life, such as divorce. The reason for this probably is in the fact that such events cause people to think about themselves, their personalities, preferences, and needs.
  1. Why are many people so secretive about their BDSM emotions?
Regardless of the subject: it is not easy to have to tell the world you are "different". This is true for everyone, who nurtures emotions, feelings, or ideas that do not coincide with their social environment. People brought up in a business environment, will often have a hard time telling their parents and friends they would rather be a painter or an actress, for example. Gay people face a similar problem and so do democrats who came from a traditional republican nest. The phenomenon is known as "coming out (of the closet)" (telling your environment you are different) and that is a difficult process that requires a lot of juggling between defending and explaining yourself to a probably unwilling audience. People with a BDSM-inclination face the same problem. Quite often this even leads to a situation where people - regretfully - are too scared to even tell their partner about their emotions.
  1. If so many people nurture these feelings at a young age, why is there so little information available for them?
Much - unfortunately - depends on the country you were born in. The fact is that in most countries sexual education, in general, leaves much to be desired. Worldwide research has shown that as much as 70 percent of the population picks up their sexual information "from the street" (i.e. friends, pornography, excess-oriented media, etcetera) and are not or very poorly educated by their parents or school. The current political climate - with very superficial and ill-informed opinions about sexuality - makes it hard for organizations to set up proper information programs in many countries. The other problem is that not everyone, who (temporarily) may nurture BDSM-like emotions during puberty and adolescence, eventually develops a persistent interest in BDSM, since much of this has to do with the more general sexual experimental phase, everyone goes through at young age. It is very important youngsters follow their own path, without too many outside influences. This forms a dilemma for organizations, seeking to provide information.
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2020.10.23 04:48 Cream_In_Ur_Bussy Don’t bother understanding attraction

Some gay followed me on social media, and I became curious and took a look at his profile. He looks like a super model. Or something molded by an Italian sculpture artist.
His boyfriend however (they’ve posed in a bunch of pics including one at Xmas time in ugly sweaters) looks like a farm animal. Or maybe something you would see in a zoo sharing a cage with a gorilla. This dude was a 10 and his bf was a 1.4, at best.
I have long given up understanding how two people become attracted and you should too. Looks seem to have nothing to do with it. Why do not people date uglies? It probably comes down to how easily you can fit your arm inside his asshole. Or your self-confidence maybe.
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2020.10.23 02:02 RumbleDumblee I (23M) am trying to work things out with my (22F) is ex fiancé. But I feel more anxiety/stress than I ever have

Title says it all. We were engaged for a year after dating for 2. We broke up this past April due to my anxiety and depression.
I felt like I made a huge mistake and have recently tried to work things out and try dating again. She lives on her own now, and I feel like she’s always creating new issues where I can’t come over or hangout. She’s also on her phone a lot more than she used to be. We’re not technically back together, but I keep having this feeling deep in my gut that someone else is in her life, but she won’t admit it.
I’ve brought it up several times, and she denies that there’s another person. But there’s always one guy commenting on all her IG photos saying things like “Boo 😍” and shit like that. I brought it up to her, and she said “Oh he’s gay, that’s just how he talks. He’s never once asked me out.” Not to stereotype a certain group of people, but the man is holding a fish on a boat and his profile/pictures don’t scream “Homosexual” to me at all.
Idk, am I overreacting? Is my anxiety just creating scenarios in my head?
TL;DR: Trying to get back with my ex fiancé due to feeling I was in the wrong for leaving. But I keep feeling like there’s another guy
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